We all need some fantasy in life. If you don't have some fantasy, what is there to go on for? Whatever fantasy that may be. I want to be active in some form of fantasy life. Too much reality doesn't make for a very happy existence. I want to change the world, want to help people, want to make some sort of difference some how. The question is how? How can I do this when I can't even get my own life in order? I will bake cookies. I will decorate. I will create warmth and glow in this little home of ours. I want to have love. A love that shows in the depths of what I do, in addition to the surface to be sure. I want to be surrounded by love and warmth during this very cold time. How does one begin to do this?
The other day while out with a friend, we enjoyed dinner, then walked about the bookstore. At the checkout, the cashier asked if we would like to donate a book to a child. I thought it was a wonderful idea. I realize a book will not put food on a table, nor will it make life easier, but maybe it will brighten a day. It was nice, I want more of this. And some where, we will find out how to make more of this happen. I will make dinner, and we'll enjoy the company of someone who might otherwise not have some place to go on Christmas. We'll have a leftovers party, like at Thanksgiving. Enjoy the company of family and friends once more. I will watch a movie, something that warms the heart.
Something outside of the everyday norm of life, that is reality. I want to believe in the beautiful, all encompassing dreams of children. Where candy is good and being outside to play with friends is a treat. Lounging on the beach, walking through the forest, something.. anything that can take me away from this now, at least for a little while. Until I can figure out how to make the feeling of those things reality. Or utilize the feeling that comes from these things. I will pick up my son, and we will dance, and sing, and laugh. Mostly, we'll laugh.
His smile is enough. And I love him.